Give Up Illusion of Perfection

I was talking to someone about Wheat Thins recently, and mentioned that I ate way too many of them one time and got a horrible stomach ache. He said, “But aren’t you supposed to be an expert in intuitive eating (i.e., not “overdo it” on things like that)?”
 
I immediately felt defensive inside until I stepped back and realized this was excellent material for a blog post.

One of my favorite treats (tin was empty by the time I thought to take a picture)Yes, I am an expert in intuitive eating given that I’m a certified intuitive eating counselor and a certified wellness coach. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect. It means that, for the most part, I am very in tune with my body and know how to respond to the hunger and fullness signals I get on a regular basis. It also means I am fairly well-versed in working with people who are not currently intuitive eaters but want to be. But – I’ll say it again – I’m not perfect.
 
I think it’s very easy for experts to fall into the illusion of perfection. Child development experts know how to communicate effectively with toddlers, so certainly they’ve never lost their patience with their own children, right? Psychotherapists know the inner workings of the human psyche so when they find themselves in emotionally turbulent situations they respond gracefully, right?  And intuitive eating counselors certainly stop eating at the perfect moment of satisfaction – not too hungry, but not too full – at every meal, right? Wrong!
 
If I’ve become an expert at one thing throughout my own journey to become an intuitive eater – and counselor – it’s been to learn how to give up the illusion of perfection.  For the most part, I do listen to my body.  I eat when I’m hungry, and I stop when I’m satisfied.  I also have come to realize how certain foods make my body feel and keep that in mind when preparing meals (or ordering them at restaurants).  That said, I’m human. 
 
As you know, the speed of my eating increased exponentially when I had my daughter because a) I was ravenous all the time, and b) there’s only so much time you have to eat when you’ve got a newborn in your lap about ready to eat again, herself (or need a diaper change).  Once my appetite evened out and I had a bit more time to enjoy my meals, I had to take a time out and re-tune in to a more mindful way of eating.
 
Similarly, when I’m stressed I’ve found that my eating changes somewhat.  Often it involves more processed foods, and yes, sometimes it means noshing on something salty that comes in a bag that, when eaten beyond a certain point, gives me a stomach-ache!  But let’s see, what other food “confessions” can I make: at Passover seder this year, I had to taste each of the desserts despite the fact that I was pleasantly full from the main meal. When my mom baked me lemon-rosemary scones a few weeks ago, I ate two of them (they were big!) after a full week-day lunch because they were so good. And she dropped them off at my office. And they were fresh. And yummy!
 
The funny thing is, I think a few un-intuitive experiences now and then are actually….entirely intuitive!  I think they are all a part of normal eating.  To splurge now and then because we want to is OK.  When my daughter is old enough to bake me chocolate chip cookies for mother’s day, you better believe I will eat one (or three) even if I’m not officially hungry for them just to show her how much I appreciate the gesture (and because they’ll likely be fresh from the oven, which you can’t recreate the next day when you’re finally hungry for said cookies).  For me, these experiences are all part of being mindful and free with food.  To be any other way makes me feel trapped and unable to listen to my body when I want to. 
 
Keep in mind that there are many a treat in the office that I turn down because I’m just not hungry for them.  There are times when my husband wants dessert and I don’t (and vice versa).  And there are times when my last meal ended at such a pleasantly satisfying moment, that I can’t ruin it with even a taste of anything until my body is ready to eat again.  I listen to my body in those instances, and on a daily basis, I’m very in tune with my hunger and fullness signals – I honor both. 
 
But, I’m not perfect.  I enjoy being not-perfect.  It’s just so much more interesting.

Comments

[Linzey]

Great post!

[Maggie]

Thanks Linzey :-)