Taking My Oldest Daughter to Work Today

I have vivid memories as an elementary school child in the 1980s, participating in what I believe was then called “Take Our Daughters to Work Day.”  It was at that time I got to sit in a 10^th floor boardroom with my father during a business meeting, envisioning the day when I’d get to wear a business suit, take notes on a yellow notepad, and point my finger in the air with something important to say. 

So much emphasis is being placed right now on the career choices women make once they have kids that I think we sometimes forget the magic that surrounds mom and dad’s places of work, to eager young children with career aspirations of their own. We’re so focused on whether to lean in or out, that sometimes we forget to just stop, take a breath and honor the choices we’ve made.

Now that I am a working parent, preparing to bring my three-and-a-half year old to work with me on this very special day, I decided to reflect on exactly what it means to be a working mother today. Here’s where I am.

I am a working mother. A working mother who: cried on her first business trip and gets homesick every time I have to miss a night with my girls (thankfully, there aren't many); is in awe of the immense responsibility and honor that comes with raising two daughters who are so much better than I'll ever be; has my own goals and aspirations, separate and apart from motherhood.

I am a working mother who: sometimes wonders what my life would be like if I chose to stay home full-time; enjoys going to the restroom at work without a baby in the Ergo or a toddler at my knees; wishes I could set up a pack ‘n play at work because, really, babies sleep. A lot!

I am working mother who: sometimes feels sad that our daughters' teachers at daycare and preschool get to spend the whole day with them; feels delighted that both our daughters have formed such wonderful bonds with their teachers; landed a job I'd dreamed might one day be possible; delights at her daughters' every accomplishment. 

I am a working mother who: gets to communicate with people all over the world on a regular basis; tries not to talk about my daughters too much at the office, but glows every time someone asks me about them.

I am a working mother who Has? It? All?

Yes. That's me.

Today, on Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work day, I remember why I wiped away tears during my first business trip after having my eldest daughter and why I push myself to work 24 hours a day when I need to. 

Because when my daughters are all grown up I don't want them to have the debate about working or not working. I want to raise little girls who grow into women who have a much clearer vision than I did when I was first pregnant that if they want to work and have a family, they can. I work because I like to have a Plan B (and a Plan C), and in our house, that means having two incomes.

I admire parents who have chosen to exit the workforce after having kids. Sometimes I envy them. Sometimes I don't. 

I also admire parents who, like me, have wiped spit-up off their business suits and pretended the breast milk stains on their pants due to pumping malfunctions were in fact coffee stains. Because when you say breast milk at work, people get uncomfortable.

In the nearly four years I’ve been graced with the title “working parent,” my once very porous skin has tightened up a bit. Now some of the judgments hurled my way slide off my skin without seeping under the surface and making their way into my psyche. Perhaps I now have the confidence in the choices I made back when my eldest was an infant. Perhaps I simply have perspective and confidence as a mother and as a working-outside-the-home mother. 

But I still have my days. 

My days of guilt and questioning and conversations with my husband when he has to remind me that, "All babies cry. It's not because you work in an office." I still put up a shield when I use the words "day care" because let's be honest: those two words spoken in tandem elicit judgment. I have my days and my moments but for the most part, I have a new level of confidence in my choices.  As I celebrate Take Our Daughters and Sons To Work with my oldest girl today (the little one is too young to appreciate it yet), it is my wish that whether you work inside and/or outside your home, you too have confidence that you're doing what's right for you and your family.

And for the record, my children’s amazing child care providers, who I am grateful for every single day of the year, are not RAISING. MY. KIDS. Believe it or not, that’s what my husband and I are doing.

**I realize this post is a bit off-topic for my blog, but it's where I am today so I'm sharing it**

Food Bloggers Against Hunger

Today I'm dedicating my post to Food Bloggers Against Hunger, which was created by Nicole Gulotta of The Giving Table in response to the new documentary A Place at the Table. The campaign is meant to raise awareness about the film, issues of hunger, and to generate letters to Congress to protect SNAP funding and make anti-hunger legislation a priority.

Why? Because SNAP—the nation’s food stamp program—is at risk for severe cuts that would impact millions of families, especially children, that rely on school meals and food stamps to survive. In response to the film, the country's leading anti-hunger organizations, Share Our Strength, Bread for the World, Feeding America, and The Food and Research Action Center, are asking supporters to help spread the word.

I've always thought that for people who struggle with food and body image issues, it can be helpful to step outside of your own world and give back. To do so in any arena is helpful, but giving back to people who don't always know where their next meal is coming from can be even more powerful. Throughout the years I've spent time volunteering with Meals on Wheels and Food on Foot, among other organizations. So when I found out about Food Bloggers Against Hunger and A Place at the Table, I knew I had to get involved.

Did you know that:

48.8 million Americans—including 16.2 million children— live in households that lack the means to get enough nutritious food on a regular basis. As a result, they struggle with hunger at some time during the year.

1 out of every 2 children in the US will be on food assistance at some point in their childhood. The next time you drop your child off at preschool imagine half of his/her peers don't know where their next meal is coming from. As my preschooler would say, "That's NOT okay."

16.2 million kids in America struggle with hunger.

10.5 million kids eligible for free or reduced-price school breakfast do not get it.

As if these statistics aren't upsetting enough, now imagine living in a food desert, where fresh fruits and vegetables aren't available at your local grocery store, even if you had the means to purchase them. Feel like eating an apple? Steamed broccoli? Imagine taking two different buses to get to a town with a grocery store that sells these items.

Think about every child in your life. Now picture half of them being so hungry they can't look at their teachers without imagining them as pieces of fruit. I'll use the words of my preschooler again: This is NOT okay. So what can we do? Start by taking 30 seconds to send a letter to congress asking them to support anti-hunger legislation.

Watch A Place at the Table and get inspired to give back in your own community. If you can't get to the theater (like me), check your cable company's On Demand listings, as well as Netflix, iTunes and Amazon.

Watch the trailer here.

Think about what it would mean to have food insecurity. And perhaps take a few moments before your next meal to give thanks for being able to put food on your table every day. The next time you slip into a negative body image conversation or the temptation to punish yourself through food restrictions, think about the 16 million kids in this country who aren't getting the food they need to thrive.

In honor of Food Bloggers Against Hunger, I'm posting one of my family's favorite recipes which can be madefor about $5 dollars. We call is Pasta Egg Scramble. And my currently picky 3.5-year-old even eats it.

Pasta Egg Scramble

 Serves 4

1 package spiral pasta noodles or any other shape you prefer ($.99 at Trader Joes)

6 eggs ($1.50)

Two handfuls of shredded cheese ($.50)

Butter

Salt & pepper

Instructions:

Cook the noodles according to the package instructions. Drain and set aside.

Warm butter in a skillet--enough butter to cover the bottom of the pan.

Saute the pasta in the butter and let some of it start to brown.

Make a well in the middle of the pasta.

Scramble the eggs and pour in the pan. Cook, tossing with the pasta as you go, until the eggs are fully cooked.

Sprinkle in the cheese until it's melted.

Season with salt & pepper.

Serve and enjoy!

Next Steps

The first rule of blogging is to do it. On schedule. Every time. Whether you're on a once a day or once a month blogging plan, you must adhere to that. And I didn't. For one entire year (one year!) I left you hanging, and for that I apologize. I'm not perfect and during the past year, I've been a less-than-stellar blogger. So there's that.

There's also the reality that my life during the past year has been busy: my husband and I bought a house, moved into it, became pregnant, and delivered our second beautiful baby girl. During that time my office moved, my sister got married, I planned her bachelorette, stood up (in very uncomfortable shoes) as her maid-of-honor while getting my 3-year-old to walk down the aisle, and, well, it's been busy. Somehow life didn't allow much time for blogging, and to be perfectly honest, writing about food while pregnant just wasn't all that appealing. It didn't feel inspired so I didn't do it.

I've thought a lot during the past year about what to do with this website and while I'm still not sure what I will do, I thought I'd at least check in with you all here and see how it felt to post something again. While I may want to blog more about intuitive eating, body image issues and the like, I've also thought about opening up the doors to our house, so to speak, and letting you peek inside to see some of the food issues we struggle with as they relate to the pickiest eater in our family: our three-and-a-half-year-old.

I've also toyed with the notion of writing about the challenges and rewards of being a working mother, and while that doesn't seem appropriate for a website called Eat When You're Hungry, the topic occupies a significant portion of my thoughts.

The struggle I have with all of this is that my children don't know I'm blogging. They aren't old enough to even know what a blog is. Yet most issues I'm inspired to write about have to do with them and how to best serve them as their mother (which includes providing food for their little bodies to grow up healthy and strong). So while I'm tempted to share our experiences of dealing with picky-toddler-syndrome (and introducing solid foods to our littlest when that time comes), I'm trying to determine if it's the right thing to do. To publicly share our journey at the dinner table when my kids are too young to give their opinion about whether or not they'd like their earliest food experiences chronicled online. Maybe so, maybe not. I'm still thinking about it.

So as I close this post before even having a chance to sprinkle it with eloquent metaphors and anecdotes, I want to let you know that I'm here and I'm happy. I'm just trying to figure out the next steps for this site. If you're so inclined, I welcome you to bear with me as I navigate a transition back into my website after a much-too-long hiatus. For now I'm going to take a cue from the words I've written on this site for so long--eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full and love yourself. I plan to blog when I'm inspired, stay quiet when I'm not, and be present to where I am in life and what I have time for. I may blog once a week (unlikely), once a month, or once a quarter. Or I may stop blogging altogether for some time. So check in occasionally, and if you feel so inspired, drop me a line and let me know what you'd like to read about on this site.

With great appreciation for your time and interest,

Maggie

The Truth about Black Bean Brownies

Ever since I heard about "black bean brownies," I knew I had to try them. I love brownies and I love the idea of getting more black beans in my diet. And the recipes I saw online for black bean brownies always seemed to include rave reviews. So I tried making a batch myself. The verdict? Hmmm...not so great. At first.

Straight from the pan, the brownies were (are) wet. There's no other way to describe them. But unwilling to throw away an entire batch of brownies, I decided to freeze them, and discovered that if eaten straight from the freezer, they are actually pretty good. Please note, however, that my husband was thoroughly disgusted after tasting them straight from the pan and was unwilling to try them frozen. 

But I really liked them (from the freezer), and decided to make them again, this time with white chocolate chips in place of the regular chocolate chips. As much as I enjoyed the first batch straight from the freezer, the second batch was infinitely better. The white chocolate chips kind of make the recipe. So much so, that my husband was intrigued enough to try them and now he is hooked, as is my daughter. 

I'm telling you, try these brownies but do NOT eat them until they are frozen or you will be disappointed.

Black Bean Brownies with White Chocolate Chips

Adapted from Meal Makeover Moms

• One 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 3 eggs
• 3 tablespoons canola oil
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• Pinch salt
• 1 cup white chocolate chips, divided

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly coat an 8 x 8-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

2. Place the black beans in the bowl of a food processor and process until smooth.  Add the eggs, oil, sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, baking powder, and salt and process until smooth.  Add 1/2 cup of the chips and pulse a few times until the chips are incorporated.

3. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and drop the remaining white chocolate chips on top.

4. Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until the edges start to pull away from the sides of the pan and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pan before slicing into squares.

5. Once cooled completed, wrap in foil and freeze.

Homemade Hummus

Ever since I discovered how to make hummus at home, it's been a staple in our refrigerator. We've been making a lot of it lately, and I have to say, it hasn't gotten old. I don't follow a recipe, so it's slightly different each time I make it, but always good. I start with two cans of garbanzo beans, which I rinse and drain. 

To that I add a heaping scoop of tahini, salt, fresh lemon juice (from about 1/2 a lemon) and paprika. Most people would also include garlic, but I'm not always in the mood for garlic-y hummus, so lately I've been leaving it out. I put all the ingredients in the Cuisinart and slowly add olive oil until the consistency is smooth and creamy. I then sprinkle paprika on top to make it look nice. And that's it. I dip vegetables in hummus, I use it as a spread on sandwiches, and of course pita chips are wonderful dipped in hummus. Because hummus is made of garbanzo beans, it's packed with fiber and protein, which tend to give it staying power.

What I was most delighted to discover this weekend was that my daughter enjoyed it too. On Sunday she asked me for hummus and sugar snap peas, and I just about fainted on the spot. She didn't love the sugar snap peas, but she certainly had fun with the hummus!